Sirius Black, formerly imprisoned in Azkaban for his role in the death of Lily and James Potter has been exonerated for his crimes. Since his mysterious death at the Department of Ministries, rumors have surfaced that Black, who was designated Godfather to the infamous "Chosen One", was actually teaching the dark arts to Harry Potter in an attempt to sway him to the side of Lord Voldemort. A team of Ministry officials was immediately dispatched to investigate the claims that under Sirius Black's tutelage, Potter is now utilizing the Dark Arts to gain a position with Voldemort himself.

"The Black family has long been known for their fancy of the Dark Arts," Bellatrix Black-Lestrange told officials, "we are proud of the work we are able to accomplish on behalf of the Dark Lord."

Insiders close to Black that refused to be named called Bellatrix's comments out of line. "While it's true about the Black family, Sirius denounced their ways and traditions at an early age. To assume he would teach Harry such things or that Harry would want to learn such things is preposterous."

The question remains, exactly how much does Black know about dark magic? Consulting his school mates from Hogwarts, we learned that Sirius was known for using daring and sometimes illegal charms and spells while still a fledging wizard.

"He would use dark magic against all of the girls. That's how he convinced us to go out with him. And he'd always attack innocent students, like poor Severus Snape, with devious spells. James Potter was always right there beside him, too. Wouldn't surprise me a bit if James had asked Sirius to teach his son the dark arts," an anonymous schoolmate of Black's explained.

Associates of Harry Potter were quick to deny the rumors and stood up for Sirius' loyalty to Dumbledore. Two close friends of his, speaking over one another in their excitement to finally tell the truth, however, had a different story to tell.

"Sure, Sirius knew-"
"and practiced dark arts. Can't-"
"imagine a bloke like that-"
"wouldn't want to teach Harry everything-"
"he could now, would ya? He'd practice-
"unforgivable curses on us loads of times."
"And then let Harry use us for practice, too."

The two boys fell into hysterical laughter at this point, a sure sign that too much dark magic had been inflicted on their brains and they were now unable to maintain control when such a serious discussion was being made. Should the rumors be true, we have to ask ourselves, has the dark magic taught by Sirius Black now infected the "Chose One?" Which side will he choose - siriusly black magic or saving us all? We'll leave that up to you, our dear readers, to decide.