A typical chat in the daily routine of Madame Puddifoot's:

Parvati: Oh my God, Lav, where did you get those cute shoes?!?! They match your lip gloss perfectly!

Lavender: Oh, this? I knicked it from Ginny, she really has some cute stuff. Don't tell her though. She won't be using it.

Parvati: Did you hear she and Harry broke up? That girl goes through boyfriends like I go through hairspray!

Lavender: Oh my God?? Really Parv?? You're serious? Then I really need this lip gloss. Ron was alright, but Harry...*giggles*

Parvati: Harry is way cuter than Ron, no offense. Plus, he has that sexy scar. And he's all muscular from playing Quidditch. *sighs* I love Quidditch-boys.

Lavender: *squeals* He does, and he's so much more muscular from playing Quidditch longer. I do too. You can have Ron. He was all right, and he has good keeper skills. If you can get past his awkwardness, he's a decent kisser, once he refined his technique.

Parvati: Forget Ron.... promise you won't tell? This year, I'm going to make it my project to steal Draco Malfoy from that Parkinson Pug.

Lavender: He's so sexy!!

Parvati: It's so obvious she's only with him for his money...duh, when will he wake up and smell the mandrake blossoms?

Lavender: *sighs* If you're into bad boys, I suppose he's it. His money won't hurt either.

Parvati: Isn't he the hottest? He's like the Prince of Hogwarts . . . I wonder if I have a chance, it seems like Granger is always panting after him. I hope he comes back to Hogwarts, Padma said something about him running off with Professor Snape.

Lavender: That is just silly. Why would Draco run off with Professor Snape? Don't worry about Granger either. Remember her bucked teeth before the Yule Ball? I mean they were enormous.

Parvati: I can't believe she got away with shrinking them. I don't know what the boys see in her, anyway. Her hair is so.... bushy! They're probably just using her to do their homework.

Lavender: I know! You totally can't see past her ball of frizz. I wonder how much sleek and easy she had to use?

Parvati: I tried to be nice to her once and offered her some defrizzing potion and she was totally rude to me. Silly cow. No wonder Krum broke up with her.

Lavender: I heard from Seamus that Krum only wanted to get close to her because she was a friend of Harry's.

Parvati: Really? I heard from Padma, who heard from Susan Bones, who heard from Cho Chang, who overheard in the girls lav from Millicent Bullstrode, that Hermione is trying to pass herself off as a Pureblood.

Lavender: With a name like Hermione Granger, it'd never work. She's certainly some piece of work. Then again, so were most of the men from Durmstrang. I don't see what Won Won sees in her.

Parvati: *sigh* I do fancy men in uniform.

Lavender: In a different way though...*giggles*

Parvati: It doesn't matter what kind of uniform..Quidditch...Durmstrang...Auror's robes... they're all hot. Pssst, Lav! Look over there! Is that Loony Lovegood sitting with Neville?

Lavender: Oh my God, it is! She had it in for my Won Won forever. I heard from Dean, who heard it from Michael, who heard it from Cho that Loony couldn't get anyone in her own House, so she started looking in others.

Parvati: That girl is so weird! I bet she couldn't even get a Hufflepuff!

Lavender: Don't even go there, girl. All Hufflepuffs are beneath us. Neville...such a soft, awkward sod.

Parvati: Is she still wearing the same pair of turnip earrings she had last fall? Aren't they rancid by now? No wonder she can't get a boyfriend...except Neville. He's probably more attracted to the vegetables hanging from her earlobes than to her!

Lavender: He is a plump bloke. Come to think of it, that's what caused the whole scene in Transfiguration the other day. Remember? I thought he was being romantic and whispering something in her ear.

Parvati: He was probably inspecting the turnips before McGongall took them away!

Lavender: I thought he was nibbling on her turnip. **giggles**

Parvati: Look at them... they're reading that Quibbler paper again. Upside down. They're such freaks. They totally deserve each other.

Lavender: I overheard Sprout telling Slughorn, Neville had a green thumb. What do you suppose that means??

Parvati: *giggles hysterically* Lav? How come Luna can get a boyfriend and I can't??? Do you think I'm so pretty that I intimidate all the boys???

Lavender: Yes Parv, that's exactly it. You might be part Veela.

Parvati: We're so much better than all of them. Yes! And you're the granddaughter of a fairy princess, I bet. We should stay single and save ourselves for the Durmstrang boys.

Lavender: We're best friends, right?