Reading Reviews for Logarithmic
66 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MarieBlack (17)

13th January 2018:
I was just popping through the lovely recently added section and saw this and my heart LEAPED.

First, the breaking of that tension between them is so perfectly executed. The build up of hearing from Cormac's perspective as he watched Eloise around his family, around his home, and then having Eloise catch on to his ruse of seduction. It's cleverly played to each character's dynamic. Eloise is ever unaware of her charm to him and yet he finds himself so entranced by her subtlety. Cormac is about as subtle as a bull in a china shop, but he does execute his seduction artfully and with smarts. It's endearing to see their perfectly unperfect kissing attempts and Keegan's interruptions.

Though what came unexpectedly was the dragging back of what is actually happening outside this perfect, summer bubble. Because of where this is set in Harry Potter universe time the war is prevalent to every wizarding person in the UK. I think the way you tie not only Cormac's family history into what is brewing but also this beautiful concern for Eloise into how this shapes their world is brilliant. I'm admittedly excited, as strange as that seems, to see how the continue to weave their story into what we already know unfolds in the Potter universe.

I just have to say you are taking on the daunting thing of a story that must exist believably in JK Rowling's world and I think you execute it in a way that is unparalleled to other fanfic writers I have come across. Their writings are brilliant, and good. But it has been so long since I've been able to really feel like a story can stand side by side with her work and shine.

So kudos, and apologies for my long review! Or - not apologies!? Either way, happy writing. xx

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Review #2, by nott theodore (16)

30th December 2017:
Val Val Vaaal ♥

(I hope you realise that me now being up to date with this story means that I can poke you for updates, yes? :P Just to - ahem - warn you.)

Opening this chapter with that letter from Vince was a bit of a tease, really, putting off letting us know exactly who Eloise was with when she left home. But I think it also said a lot about Vince and Eloise's relationship - he really cares about her and wants her to be safe, but he trusts her judgement too, and respects her choice.

I loved the way that you transitioned from the letter into the really easy conversation with Saoirse; even though the topic is a bit of a difficult one, and Siobhan has a very different perspective on it to Eloise, I thought it showed how effortless her presence at the McLaggens' seemed to be, and how well she fit in with the family.

Saoirse is awesome. She's just so welcoming and lovely, and she really reminds me of a lot of some people in my own family. I think the fact that she's not trying to tell Eloise what to do when that's part of the reason that Eloise is there, and that she's welcomed so many people into their home before, says a lot about her character.

The descriptions of the McLaggen home were so lovely - even though it was smaller than the Midgeons', you could just tell that there was so much love and life there and that Eloise felt really happy there. I liked the way that she was accepted by his family and the Shakespeare bond with Aoibheann ♥

(Side note: I like the fact that Aoibheann is so frank with Cormac about the fact he's in love with Eloise and that he talks to her about that sort of thing.)

The family are so cute and lovely and I really want to dive through the screen and give them all a hug, please.

The conversation between Cormac and Eloise was so brilliant - I loved reading the dynamic between them, and the way that they've been kind of hovering between a relationship and friendship for a while, dancing around each other during this holiday. Eloise gives excellent advice, too, and her passion for Healing is so lovely. I loved getting to find out more about Cormac, too, and the answer that he gives about what matters most to him - protecting the people he loves - is so sweet. Honestly, what are you doing to me with this story, Val??

The ending is so taunting. You're a mean, mean author, you know that? I'm hoping that Cormac's plan to make her stew isn't going to be particularly successful, because I can't wait to read more about the two of these together, and I would rather you didn't make me wait while Cormac makes Eloise stew, thank you very much :P

This was a wonderful chapter and I'm so glad that I'm all caught up with this story now - now for the excessive (and probably irritating oops) cheerleading to begin! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #3, by nott theodore (15)

30th December 2017:
(Don't let uni eat you alive. I can't have that happening, okay?)

Ah, the opening of this chapter was so amazing! You wrote it really well - the sense of detachment between what was happening and all the sensory things going on around Eloise, and the emotions that she's feeling. You described everything so well, and the fact that Eloise has kind of disconnected from herself as her mind tries to protect her from the grief and horror of losing Dumbledore. It was just so effective and I was so absorbed in the moment with that scene.


I mean, I guess it isn't technically a party, but still.

Seeing him at Eloise's bedside when she woke up and hearing that he insisted on staying there and that he carried her there because her friends couldn't was just so squee-worthy. I loved the confession that came from him and the fact that these two are (hopefully) going to finally stop dancing around each other and pining for each other and actually get together. I'M SO EXCITED. (In case you couldn't tell.) He hasn't quite said everything yet, but the feelings are there and I can't wait to see him and Eloise actually exploring something like a relationship ♥

Eloise's parents though! I can understand it, because we see that a lot of parents take their children out of school - and that's only the ones in Harry's year, so undoubtedly there'd be even more concern for the younger pupils who can't decide for themselves - but it's so frustrating to see that they want her to stay at home rather than going to Hogwarts. It's kind of futile in some senses since in a few months they won't have any say in it, and all Hogwarts age students will have to go to the school anyway, but it's a desire to protect their children that I can understand. I don't think that it's going to be possible for people to really avoid what's been happening with the Death Eaters and the war after this.

Eloise's plan to get out from under her parents' roof and therefore their rules is intriguing - I suspect that she might ask Cormac if she can go with him, and that would be really interesting to see how that shifts the dynamic between them, especially if she gets to learn the reality of his home circumstances, but I guess I'll have to wait and see. Again, though, it makes me a bit sad that she might cause so much pain and worry to her parents when she won't really have to next year, as she won't have a choice about going back to Hogwarts.

It also makes me so sad that some of these people won't get the choice to come back next year - people like Justin - and their group will be even more fractured. I'm so looking forward to seeing you write about Hogwarts from Eloise's perspective, though, and seeing the war really develop.

I wouldn't object to seeing Susan hex Scrimgeour into next year. Just saying.

The conversation between Eloise and Wayne felt like it was happening at the right time, and I'm actually really, really happy for them. Their friendship doesn't seem to have been affected by the situation and neither of them caught feelings for the other during the year, but they just want each other to be happy and it was such a sweet conversation to read.

(Maybe Wayne is realising that he has feelings for Henry and the two of them can get together in the future? Maybe I'm not meant to be shipping those two together and this is coming from nowhere? Feel free to tell me to shut up :P)

The funeral was written so simply, but I think it was even more effective and beautiful for that. I'm looking forward to the next chapter - and then I can pester (or encourage) you for updates!

Sian :)

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Review #4, by nott theodore (14)

30th December 2017:
Val ♥ Ah, thank you for the thank you - it's so sweet, but I love this story and you so I'm going to be an annoying cheerleader for a long time :P

I got chills reading this chapter - you wrote the events in it so well. For some reason, when Susan and Justin both went pale, I really didn't expect it to be this moment, and the intensity and tension that followed were fantastic.

It's a very good job that Hermione had lifted the hex on the DA parchment, because they needed the Hufflepuffs there tonight, and they're going to need them all there next year, as well. I really, really loved the fact that the Hufflepuffs were the ones who responded to the message, and that there wasn't any hesitation in the fact that they were going to fight and not let their friends be put in danger without helping them. It shows how brave and loyal they are, and it just ties in so well with their characters.

Two things I really loved about that scene - the fact that they're so close-knit that Susan didn't want to go without telling Eloise, Wayne and Henry about the DA and where they were going, and that Eloise instantly wanted to go and fight with them - and then the fact that even though Zach and Henry decided not to go, the others respected that decision and didn't make any comments about bravery or cowardice or anything like that. I think it shows the difference in attitudes between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor really well.

The spells that you came up with for this chapter were so clever, and I liked the way that Eloise used them from her Healing experience and the others from the DA accepted hers and Wayne's presence and help here.

The chaos and fighting which followed in this chapter was so intense, and I thought you wrote it so well. I really felt like I was with Eloise as she ran around the castle and tried to process what was happening - but most of all during the end of the chapter, when they went to see who it was that had fallen from the tower. Dumbledore means a lot to Harry because of the special relationship that they have, but I think that it was important to show how much he means to all of the students in the school. The emotion when Eloise saw that it was Dumbledore who had been killed was so raw and real, and I had tears pricking in my eyes as I read this.

Sian :)

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Review #5, by nott theodore (13)

30th December 2017:
Ciao! ♥

The opening of this chapter was so brilliant. I loved the way that you grabbed us straight into the story again with the news in the Daily Prophet. It's so sad to hear the news about Selene and Berenice's little brother, but I think it illustrates the way that tragedy touches so many families during this period, and nobody is really immune. If you come out of this war unscathed, then you're incredibly lucky.

I really liked the detail that even though she's a Slytherin, most people like Berenice - I think given the narrow perspective we read in the books, it's easy to believe that all Slytherins are alike, but it's so unrealistic that they'd all be on the same side.

I felt so sorry for Henry here, as we got to find out more about what had happened to his family and something that triggers his panic attacks. You wrote the panic attack really well, and I was so, so glad that Eloise and Wayne were both there for Henry and trying to help calm him down. It means so much that this group stick together and look after each other so well.

(I don't know if I'm meant to be shipping Wayne and Henry now, but I slightly am? Oops.)

Yay for them all passing their Apparition exams! It was super sweet of Vincent to send the cakes, too (although now I'm hungry too :P).

I love Susan. I know I say this in pretty much every review, but I'm totally with her on the discussion about Malfoy. It's really nice seeing the Hufflepuffs' perspective of Draco, too, since we only really see it through the rivalry between him and Harry.

The scene with Eloise and Blaise was interesting - I feel like it's building towards something, or that his (quite regular - which I'm also wondering about) presence in the hospital wing will have a purpose in the future with this story, but I'm not sure what it is at this point. Eloise did a brilliant job of keeping calm as he came out with all the pureblood superiority rubbish, and it was interesting to see them interact and discuss it so openly when they wouldn't normally talk about this sort of thing with each other. I'd definitely have been doing more than putting him under a sleeping spell if I'd been Eloise, though :P

Sian :)

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Review #6, by nott theodore (12)

30th December 2017:
Val! ♥ So apparently the muse needs feeding and who am I to refuse that request?

You captured the atmosphere at the Quidditch match so well at the start of this chapter - the way that everyone is bunching into the stands and discussing the game that's about to take place. I go to rugby matches pretty regularly and I could see the parallels between the sports there, albeit Quidditch is more competitive.

Luna's commentary never fails to make me laugh, and I loved the way that you included that and expanded on it. It was really fun seeing the match from Eloise's perspective, too, since we see it as a spectator here, rather than Harry who's participating; just the difference in attitude to Zach makes a big change, and it was kind of weird to be cheering along for Hufflepuff with Eloise rather than my actual house :P

CORMAC! You idiot. Honestly, I'd kind of completely forgotten that he even did that in the books, so it was both a little amusing and frustrating to see him knocking Harry out with the Beaters' bat? That is not the best way to go about getting yourself into Eloise's good books, Cormac my friend. Not that you're trying, of course, I know *cough*.

Eloise is so sweet, trying to get out of the stadium to get to the Hospital Wing and help Madam Pomfrey out with the people who've been injured in the match. I think it really shows how much Healing means to her, and it's great experience (although still slightly worrying that all these things are happening) for her to get while she's still at school.

The scene in the Hufflepuff common room was so fun to read. I want to go to one of their parties! It seems like my sort of place, right down to the pile-on hug at the end ♥

Susan is such a great character in this - she's more vibrant and realistic than almost any portrayals I've seen of her in fanfiction, and it's so much fun to read her. Hufflepuffs pushing (or ignoring) the rules is always amusing :P I loved your drink names too!

The final section with the two letters from family was so interesting - I loved the contrast between the letters that Cormac and Eloise received. It was fascinating to see the differences in their situations and the concerns that are preoccupying their families, but a great parallel to draw between the two of them.

Cormac's mum is so sweet - I get the impression that she's really grateful for everything that he does for their family, but wishes she could stop the way that his father acts. She seems like a really complex character - which is unsurprising, given her situation - and I'd love to see more about her. Her concern for Cormac's future and encouraging him to think more about jobs is really touching, and I liked the way you used that to tell us more about Cormac himself. Also, him writing letters to his siblings would be absolutely adorable ♥

Eloise's letter was really different in tone, which fits the fact it's from her brother rather than a parent, but I think the way that he's talking about the war and the Ministry shows that their family - as a result of being happier and more close-knit - is more preoccupied with the war and how it could affect them and the country than their own concerns, in contrast to Cormac's family. And ooh, Eloise has her Apparition test - I hope it goes well!

Sian :)

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Review #7, by nott theodore (11)

30th December 2017:
I KNEW IT! I knew that Cormac couldn't be as oblivious to Eloise and the chemistry there as he seemed to be, and I was right. Eep, the opening of this chapter was great. He's doing a reasonably good job of pretending that he doesn't care and trying to keep Eloise at arm's length, but I loved the way that you described the snarly feelings and thoughts in the opening scene as he remembered that interaction with Eloise.

His father is really awful. I didn't think that the injuries he was in the hospital wing for were actually sustained by falling off his broom, but I hadn't connected the dots and thought about how his father had been able to do this to him. The past injuries were just awful and I feel so sorry for Cormac, now - that's such an impossible and horrible situation to have to deal with, and the fact that he gets to escape it when he goes to Hogwarts but also has to worry about his siblings and family when he's away is more than anyone should ever have to deal with. No wonder he's trying to keep people away from finding out. I'm even wondering if the reason he gives Harry for missing the previous year's trials is actually true, or if it's related to his father.

(Nero is a very appropriate name for Mr McLaggen, too.)

The descriptions of the cold and winter in this chapter are making me feel cold, even though I'm inside and wrapped up in blankets. Reasons to not visit Scotland at this time of year :P

Susan is a great friend. I'm so glad to see the way that they're looking out for each other here, and it's so believable that Eloise (and others) would reach points like this through the year. The final years of school are stressful and difficult enough at this point, without friends missing and a war going on, and I wanted to reach through the screen and give Eloise and Susan a big hug here.

It was so interesting to see the way that the Hufflepuffs are putting together those incidents, and that they're trying to put together what's happened and see the bigger picture. I think in the books we get the impression that only Harry is really taking note of what's going on and so it's great to see that these characters are aware of what's happening, too. Susan's own interest in the events at the Ministry and the way that she's toeing the line of legality in an effort to deal with her aunt's murder is fascinating - I really love these characters and I don't want any harm to come to them, but it's so great to see them getting really involved in what's going on around them and showing how much this matters to them.

Sian :)

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Review #8, by nott theodore (10)

30th December 2017:
Val! ♥

Opening this chapter with the Apparition lessons and some more of the specifics about it (like the age that they can actually learn and take the test at) was so interesting. It's literally only just occurred to me that witches and wizards can learn to apparate at the same age we get to learn to drive in the UK. I thought you captured the build up to the lessons really well - I definitely felt that same sense of excitement and fear when I first learnt to drive.

Aha. Well, Eloise might have been caught staring, but Cormac was looking too! I still think that he needs to apologise to her and I'm so intrigued about what's happening with him, but anyway. Wayne is a really good friend to know that she's got a crush on Cormac (not that she's doing a very good job of hiding it) and then to help her out with trying to make him a little jealous. Their arrangement seems to be working pretty well at the moment - especially now that all of the other Hufflepuffs have the ground rules laid down - but I'm still worried that one of them might catch feelings. Wayne seems like the prime candidate for that at the moment, since Eloise is rather easily distracted by a certain Gryffindor.

The Apparition lessons were really interesting - I think having your dad do the same job and having taught certain things definitely puts forward some sort of conflict there, and Eloise is good to give Twycross's method a try first (this reminds me of studying maths at school when my mum had already taught me how to do half of it years earlier). I really liked the way that you captured what we know of that first lesson from the books and we get to see it from Eloise's perspective - Susan splinching herself is a lot more worrying when she's Eloise's best friend. (Also, I loved the earlier story of someone accidentally apparating in the middle of a Muggle dinner party. I can imagine that would be both hilarious and terrifying.)

The final scene! Eeeep.

Also. "Be aggressively normal and all will be fine." Brilliant plan, Eloise.

There's something going on with Cormac and I'm not entirely sure that I believe that he fell off his broom. The scars on his torso definitely suggest that there's a history there, and I'm so intrigued to find more about him. But you did a wonderful job of capturing Eloise's feelings in that scene, and how attracted she is to Cormac. I refuse to believe that Cormac isn't feeling something, too...

Sian :)

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Review #9, by nott theodore (9)

30th December 2017:
VAL! ♥ ♥ ♥

So I've been terrible and have read a couple of chapters without reviewing (but not all of them yet), and I have some time and I'm in the mood to shower you with love, so I hope you'll forgive my lateness ♥

So I'm still not really sure why on earth Cormac was so horrible to Eloise at the end of the last chapter/beginning of this one, because it seemed so unnecessary, but I love the way that Eloise dealt with it. I really love her character and the way that she stands up for herself. I also love the fact that she's so casual when she tells Susan that she doesn't need to kill Cormac because she's already dealt with it. Get you a friendship like that.

The sleepover was so much fun to read - I love the way that this group of friends interact with each other so easily, and the way that you capture their dynamic. It's so fun seeing a very different side to the Hufflepuffs than what we normally get to see, and the way that you've brought these characters to life. Also, Susan drinking is hilarious. I bet she's secretly so proud of herself for coming up with the suggestion that Eloise and Wayne eventually take up.

(I don't know how I feel about Eloise and Wayne, though. I mean, I'm glad that they're having fun, but I always worry with situations like this one that Feelings will develop and someone is going to end up with their heart broken, which would not be very good.)

After seeing the way that Cormac treated Eloise at the start of this chapter, it was really fascinating to see him with his family. He's so sweet with his siblings, and he obviously cares for them so much and worries about them when he's not there. It was really clever of you to let us glimpse that side of his character so that we don't hate him entirely (although he still has a long way to go before he deserves Eloise, okay?) and I really enjoyed reading a bit about his home life. It seems like he's leaving a troubled situation at home and I have to wonder whether or not that affected the way that he was with Eloise earlier on, although that's not an excuse for him to speak to her the way that he did. Boy has a lot of making up to do before he's worthy of my darling Eloise.

(Yes, she's mine now as well as yours, okay?)

The ending of the chapter was really interesting, too - even if they didn't want the others overhearing them discussing their ground rules, it's obvious that Eloise and Wayne have no intention of hiding the fact that they're sleeping together, and I think that says a lot about this group of friends and how open and honest they are with each other. It's so nice to see them just acting as normal teenagers, too, and having moments like these, even with everything that's going on around them.

Sian :)

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Review #10, by MarieBlack (16)

24th November 2017:

Super pumped to see an addition to this story, with so much going on and happening. First, I love that Eloise is taking a stand with her family. It's very Eloise of her, to be so head strong and make a plan. It doesn't hurt that in doing so she is growing closer to Cromac and his family.

At the end seeing how Cormac is preceiving her in all of this. They way he notices her and her family, the way she fits so easi;y with them it's wonderful. And then the way he thinks of his attraction is riveting. I'm so selfishly excited to see how Cormac makes her s t e w. Ugh. So pumped.

Ps. that shout out warmed my heart! Glad to be a supporter

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Review #11, by Giu9_RedandGold (15)

3rd November 2017:
I have a feeling I know who she might stay with! 😝
I know I have already said I'm going to read this story again, as soon as I have the time, but I really really NEED to read this again!!! I totally missed the "thing" between Eloise and Wayne. I must be so incredibly distracted 😣
Anyway, new chapter was great! Update soon 😉

Author's Response: The latest chapter is in the queue, so you'll find out soon whether or not your prediction is correct!

Thank you for the review :)

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Review #12, by MarieBlack (15)

2nd November 2017:
It. Was. So. Beautiful.

Just, the gentle friendship of Eloise and Wayne and how the end of their sleeping together. AND CORMAC MCLAGGEN DECLARING HIS LOVE. UGH, love that kid. AnD tHeN tHe FuNeRaL? Beautiful. In my heart I never want this story to end. Please don't let it end. I want everyone to fall in love and then fight in the war (and no one to die) BUT my idealistic self is willing to settle for MISS ELOISE spilling her feelings.

Please write more. I know, I know. You have a real life with lots of papers and things to do, I understand. But. If you could. Like write more. That would be super duper great.

Happy writing, and thanks for letting me revel in these characters!


Wayne and Eloise's dynamic was, and remains, a very interesting one to write, but it was high time this particular facet came to an end -- especially with Cormac fessing up at last. I'm very excited for you to see what happens next!

This story is nowhere close to ending yet, no worries! I plan to follow everyone through Seventh Year at least (but most likely beyond that). Before that, however, a confession would indeed not be remiss. ;)

The next chapter is in the queue, and I hope you'll enjoy it!

Thank you for being so consistently lovely in your reviews, it truly means the world.

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Review #13, by MarieBlack (14)

2nd November 2017:
I came back to this RIGHT on time and had two chapters to devour. I must say I rarely enjoy "other perspectives" to the Harry Potter time because they either follow so closely with the original story characters that I'm a bit bored of it, or they seem so "throw in" in a way that doesn't make sense. HOWEVER, these people fit perfectly. I can imagine them on the same train to Hogwarts, in the same great hall, and knowing people who know the people JKR wrote specifically on. I sincerely love the way they fold into the story and contribute. It's marvelous and I have a huge respect for your character development that has made it this way.

The action in this one is rather exciting, yeah? Lots of moving and running for our friends. I like their stick-togetherness that seems to follow this little troop of Puffs. They're always stick it out with one another it seems. I know as the way this one ended that Eloise will certainly need the morale building of her friendships. Loosing Dumbledore was something the entire school surely felt in such a deep way. Also, what follows is the rise of the Dark Lord. I'm interested to see all of this from the perspective outside of the Trio.

You've enraptured me again, on to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Squee, that is quite the compliment and it left me smiling like a loon for a very long time, thank you so, so much.

My precious pack of 'Puffs!! You will definitely be seeing them more in further chapters and I hope it doesn't disappoint.

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Review #14, by Giu9_RedandGold (13)

22nd September 2017:
Hi! I hope I'll have the time to read this story again soon, because I remember I really liked it, but barely anything else. I'm sorry! I find many stories lately that I used to read and I somehow forgot. Anyway, since we are in the Half-Blood Prince, I definitely know what's going on.

Anyway the chapter is good, filler-y but fun to read. I really liked how you wrote Henry's breakdown, it felt quite realistic.

Cheers! ;)

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Review #15, by MarieBlack (12)

24th August 2017:
I have to say I love this story! I stumbled upon it not too long ago and have been giving it a look now and then for more. I've finally managed to leave a decent review. I think you have managed the incredible task of writing in the Harry Potter Hogwarts era extremely well. It doesn't have this feel of "not fitting," that some stories may. I can imagine these students shuffled in among the Gryffindors we know so well. And you give such great depth to Cormac in the process. I'm definitely a fan of this story to say the least.

Now, on to specifics of this chapter. One I have to admit Hufflepuff is my favorite house. I have a feeling it is where I'd end up if ever sorted and so seeing all the community and good feeling they experience in this chapter brings my heart joy. Ugh, those Puffs. I like the increasing tensions within the ministry from a perspective with a closer link than in the Harry Potter stories. I'm personally so excited to see how Cormac and Eloise fall back together in some way. And when I say "so excited," I mean I'm going to check back on this story daily until you post again ;)

Faithfully reading and waiting,
Marie xx

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Review #16, by forever_dreaming (2)

22nd August 2017:
Oh man, that first meeting. That is what dreams are made ofóI loved loved loved how sassy Eloise was. I think that fits her personality perfectly. Also Cormac was adorably arrogant--he was characterized perfectly but where I disliked this characterization in the books, it actually sort of worked? I thought his whole thing about his "natural charm" was really funny and am looking forward to more interactions between Eloise and Cormac.

I was really surprised by Eloise as a main character here. I found it admirable and surprising that she still has her optimism about Hogwarts, even considering everything that has happened to her there and how much her classmates have mistreated her; in her perspective, I would've been like, "Yeah, no, I'll just stay home." I think you explained this well with Eloise placing her distrust and hatred on her classmates and not on Hogwarts itself, but it did strike me as odd at first.

I feel so bad for Susan. She seems like a cinnamon roll that I want to protect forever ❤️ I really like her and Eloise's friendship; they feel like sisters and that warms my heart. I like that Eloise has someone beside her to support her. I also like Hannah; I think that where Susan is soft, Hannah is hard, and that's the perfect balance. Hannah's assertiveness is fantastic; I can already see it rubbing off on Eloise a little. I can't wait to see what this little trio gets up to!

Also, I love that Eloise has a connection to Miranda Goshawk. That's epic. :D

Author's Response: Hi again!

AHH. I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKED THEIR FIRST MEETING. Eloise tends to default to jokes and sarcasm when nervous, and Cormac definitely makes her nervous. Crushes are all fun and games until someone catches feelings.

I'm so, so happy to hear you say that you like this Cormac where you didn't like him in the books so much! I try to stick to his canon portrayal, but obviously if he was like book!Cormac all the time, Eloise wouldn't give him the time of day. This fic will attempt to explain why he's the way he is, and I hope the explanation won't disappoint.

Eloise's optimism regarding Hogwarts is linked to a deep, longlasting love of academia and learning. School, in spite of the nasty comments of some students, is a safe haven for her (not in the least because it gets her off her mother's overprotective radar). Unfortunately, as we well know, it's not going to stay a safe place, but let's not tell her that just yet!

It's super interesting that you describe Susan as the soft and Hannah the hard one! The dynamic is the opposite in my head, as will become abundantly clear in the coming chapters, so maybe I should give this one a reread and touch up my characterisation for the sake of continuity.

Again, thank you for taking the time to leave a review!

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Review #17, by forever_dreaming (1)

22nd August 2017:
Hi! This was a great first chapter and really made me sympathize with Eloise. I commend you on making such a likable character, even after only the first chapter; I'm fond of Eloise so much that I actually want to punch all the people who were being rude to her and making fun of her! Like, jackasses. *cracks knuckles*

I think part of the reason why I find her so likable is because I relate to her, wanting to become a butterfly. I think you captured the insecurities of a teenage girl perfectly, and the effects of that insecurity too; given everything she went through, it makes sense that she would be withdrawn, antisocial, and still horribly insecure.

I also liked the subtle introduction of her family and her brother and the role they played--I'm quite angry at them for not reassuring Eloise and making her feel loved. I liked how you developd the feeling of aloneness in often very subtle ways too; for example, even in Eloise's safe haven, books, she could not find someone who was like her. That's heartbreaking and very subtly done--nice!

Thanks for giving life to a very disregarded character; I'm excited to read more!

Author's Response: Hi!

If you're already rooting for her by chapter one, my job here is done, hooray! My own growing girl insecurities aren't that far under surface and Eloise's definitely stem from personal experience -- though nothing quite so bad as hers, thank goodness for that.

Your point about family is interesting, because I hadn't considered that the way they were portrayed might've made matters worse. It does 100% make sense: Vincent, though he loves his baby sister and would kill for her, takes his 'making fun of Eloise' elder siblings duty seriously, and their parents would not have helped Eloise's ego with their constant fretting. The way to hell is paved with good intentions, as they say!

This got way too long, oops. Thank you very much for leaving a review :)

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Review #18, by PaulaTheProkaryote (11)

16th August 2017:

I know itís been implied here and there that his home life was a bit of a wreck in regards to his father so itís nice to have some major confirmation. My poor baby. Also Iím hoping that the Hogwarts staff donít actually know whatís going on because if they did theyíre mandatory reporters and THEYíD HAVE NO CHOICE TO SKEWER THAT MAN or else I would. GOd I hate abusive jerks. The name Nero really says it all, doesnít it?

AND THATíS WHY HE WAS A JERK. Oh, heís such a sweet little thing, isnít he?

So I honestly think that if winter is as cold there as it is here, it would be reason enough for me to drop Care of Magical Creatures or Herbology as subjects just so I wouldnít have to go outside. Random thought your story prompted. Ignore me. Also Henry is a hero.

The exchange with Susan and her about her attitude is exactly how I imagine a Hufflepuff intervention to go. Also can we just appreciate how much of a fixer Susan is? I love fixers. Sheís got the game plan and everything. I need Susan in my life. Ď A hot mess, but still a mess.í true friends.

I love how well youíve worked in what happened during the actual books in the background because I think it would be so easy to overlook those kinds of details. Like Ron being poisoned. But youíve been super consistent about it all along.

"You don't attempt to kill people over Quidditch." You can tell for sure that Oliver has graduated by this point because heís a solid exception.

Also I really enjoy all of the gossip and speculation and conspiracy within the Hufflepuffs.

As usual, the dialogue flows very naturally in this chapter and it really doesnít feel fillery at all. It feels much more developmental and I keep muttering to myself that the plot is thickening (which it totally is).

Iím 90% sure that Iíve said at least a dozen times how much I love Susan in this review alone, but I really like the way you have me both cheering her on and have me terrified for her.

It was another great chapter!

Author's Response: Hey you!

Honestly, if the Hogwarts staff is anything like its Headmaster, they wouldn't really care. In Cormac's case, though, he's a Quidditch player and most of the damage usually occurs outside of school, so Madam Pomfrey would have no reason to investigate beyond what he says... (But yes, my poor baby, who thinks the solution is to push everyone away.)

HENRY ZELLER, CHARMS MASTER. I don't think I'd do Care of Magical Creatures in the first place, sorry Hagrid.

Susan is a hero, we all deserve a Susan in our lives.

Having to stick to the actual books is actually such a pain, it's so t e d i o u s to have to constantly go back and check what happened. I want to take so much more creative liberty and I can'ttt. Too bad, so sad.

Conspiracy theories abound, yay! You should be scared for Susan. She has Things coming.

Thank you again for stopping by, your support means the world!

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Review #19, by PaulaTheProkaryote (10)

14th August 2017:

Okay so the good news is I had enough manners to leave you reviews on your last two chapters when I did my first read through so I'm not a complete animal.

Now I'm still wondering what in the world has got Cormac so hot and cold.

Can I just say that I really appreciate you taking the time to go over the mechanics of apparition lessons because I feel like the books really skimmed over it and it seems like it's so important and such a coming of age (especially with the build up of Fred and George getting it). I really enjoyed that part.

Good I'm glad he's flushed red. Hopefully he'll go properly apologize to her that absolute baboon. Also Wayne is a good friend for helping antagonize him. Good friend. I hope he hasn't caught feelings though or it would be super awkward. It seems safe so far.

Follow up shoutout to Professor Sprout for being chill about the entire thing. She'd still totally write her an excellent letter of recommendation.

Susan's shout of horror made me laugh.

I can't even imagine the terror of temporarily losing a leg I don't think I'd ever learn how to apparate. That scene really highlights the closeness of Eloise and Susan though and I'm all for any bonding of the girls. I think the pacing of that paragraph also helped set up a lot of the stress and worry that Eloise was feeling.

I'm not sure if Black Cat Flu was legit from the books but I don't think it was so if that's the case you get kudos because it made me laugh.

There's something satisfying about her giving him skele gro considering how gross and uncomfortable it was for harry.

A six sounds like him trying to do the masculine downplay of pain thing. Or maybe I'm just a wimp. Or maybe that would have more to do with his apparent familiarity to pain.

"Be aggressively normal and all will be fine" that's my new daily mantra.

so as a polite, thoughtful reader i'm not going to scream where is the next chapter. Instead I'm going to sob it. HELP I NEED MORE.

Author's Response: On Cormac's behaviour -- all will be explained! *swishy hand gestures* In the meantime, he can suffer quietly in his corner while Eloise and Wayne do their thing (especially now that there's no risk of Susan walking in on them).

Weirdly, though the risks are bodily damage are higher with Apparition, I'd still take it over learning how to drive. The emotions channelled in that scene are directly inspired from that first time I got behind the wheel and almost landed the car into a tree. Oops.

The Black Cat Flu isn't legit from the books, but from the movies! I thought it was hilarious; it's a very unthreatening epidemic name.

He's definitely familiar with the pain. He's also already been treated by Pomfrey, which helps.

Chapter 11 will be up sometime near the end of the week, I believe! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTINUING ENTHUSIASM, I LOVE YOU

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Review #20, by PaulaTheProkaryote (7)

14th August 2017:
Hello again! :) You probably haven't noticed because you probably haven't checked your account in the twenty minutes I've been gone, but I had to go grab some taco bell and rush back so I could enjoy the rest of the story so far.

So I never really loved that Ron made the Quidditch team because I feel like he really did get it in part because of Harry which is super shady. In comparison to Cormac's disappointment, I do feel like it sucks a bit.

Did we ever find out why McLaggen had been a no show? Did he have a viable reason?

I love Christmas at Hogwarts so thank you for taking the time to properly paint the scene. It just makes me ready for Christmas myself even though we have months and several holidays to get through first.

I'm glad Vincent is making some progress though.

Also I can't even with the cuteness of their studying. His mind going blank. All of the latent romantic feelings being expressed through knee pressing.

Solid sibling names by the way. I'm down for them. I always grumble when characters get random names. Like fanfics that have Hermione with a brother named "Chad" or something wretched.

The birthday shenanigans were wonderful. Shoutout to Zach for the surprisingly sweet gift. He's the best. All of the Hufflepuffs are too sweet for their own good.

Author's Response: I hope you enjoyed your Taco Bell!

Well. I know why McLaggen was a no show, but it hasn't been revealed just yet. He does have a viable reason, one that ties in with his personal history -- I've only been dropping hints left and right for the moment but the explanation will get there! Hopefully it's not disappointing or nonsensical.

On top of all the reasons I still want to go to Hogwarts, Christmas at Hogwarts is very close to the beginning of the list. It must be amazing and I want it to be Christmas now (says she from the sweltering heat of mid-August).

They may be mute about their feelings to one another, but these two are so tactile. I cry. (So does Cormac, out of frustration.)

There are fanfics that give Hermione a brother named Chad? *shudders*

Zach's in Hufflepuff for a reason. He's just loyal to a select number of people.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #21, by PaulaTheProkaryote (6)

14th August 2017:
Hello lovely!

I swear I reviewed some of these chapters at some point. I feel very guilty now. I bet I probably did like the last ones because I always start a story and then tell myself I'll go back and catch up on reviews and then never do. It's pathological at this point.

"Can you please not spring things on me like that, especially today?" I died at this line. My precious cinnamon roll. So cute. Adorable. Also John is a great character.

I love the Susan and Eloise conversation with McLaggen walking into the door. Absolutely adorable. I know I've already said that, but I'm in love.

Susan is like an even better Hermione. Like I honestly feel like she could single handedly overthrow Voldemort. She's brilliant.

The apology scene was so cute. Their dialogue flows easily and even though we really only get a few lines from them, it feels like so much more. It feels significant.

It's always important to me that other characters feel Hogwarts's magic the way that Harry did because I think that even if you were used to magical dwellings and from a magical family it still must stand out, right? I'm glad Cormac thinks so.

Also Eloise and Malfoy interacting is stellar. Like she's a boss in all situations despite her Hufflepuff temperament. Also I think the whole thing makes the Slytherins seem much more human.

"You literally just mentioned her name. Please?" All hail the queen of sass.

Author's Response: Whoops, I think you may in fact have reviewed them once, but far be it from me to criticise you for it. I'm just here grinning like a goof.

I don't know if Susan could singlehandedly overthrow Voldemort, but I feel like she'd definitely put her whole heart in trying. My brave little badger.

You liked the apology scene, yay! I'm trying to move these two idiots along but it's such a slow process. JUST KISS.

Malfoy, just like all the big characters we see a lot of, was terrifying to write, so you calling their interactions stellar is super relieving. Eloise isn't always a boss, but in the Hospital Wing, she's on her turf, which is probably why she allowed herself to be so sassy. Also, if someone is bleeding out in front of her, her focus isn't going to be on filtering what comes out of her mouth. Sorry, Slytherin boys.

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Review #22, by PaulaTheProkaryote (5)

14th August 2017:
Hello lovely!

I love hate the Hufflepuff boys. Okay, mostly love. I especially love Eloise's description of them. I especially love her thoughts on Zacharias and him keeping his mouth shut.

I know you worried about their interactions considering how she is a bit of a loner, but I think even loners have their own groups and it feels more like they've fallen into a comfortable rhythm from living together for years more than anything else. It feels very natural.

Honestly that was quite the speech she gave Cormac and one day I hope you rewrite that scene from his perspective.

The way the hufflepuffs are banding together in one room reminds me a lot of when DA did that in the room of requirement in DH and it makes my heart ache and I'm feeling all nostalgic and now I need a story during that time period. Or I can hope that this story stretches through seventh year? That seems like the best option.

Wayne is my child: "We need to stop using gross stereotypes when referring to the other houses because then all we do is perpetuate biased ideas that make us antagonise one another when we should be trying to increase inter-house unity." Love him and I want more of him.

I know my reviews should have more substance, but I'm mostly just enjoying the magic so shhh. As always, I loved it!

Author's Response: Zach is an idiot, of the same variety as Cormac imo. His relationship with the rest of the group, especially Susan, is tons of fun for me to write. They love to antagonise one another, it's great.


This story is definitely going to stretch through seventh year, so you'll see more Hufflepuff (and DA, but shh) bonding, no worries there!

Wayne!! He and Hannah are like Hufflepuff 101. We're going to be seeing more of him too.

Your reviews are the greatest thing that could happen to me and I'm super thankful for them. Substance? What substance?

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Review #23, by PaulaTheProkaryote (4)

14th August 2017:
Hello again! :)

Honestly poor Eloise waiting around for our resident dork. I'd be mad at being stood up too, no matter how long I waited. SEND A NOTE. It takes two seconds and it's just decent.

"the world has not been under a zombie attack Ė or in any case, the Ministry hasnít said anything about it." Yeah but tbh that doesn't rule out the zombie apocalypse. The ministry is downright unreliable.

Susan is my favorite character other than Eloise and Cormac and I want to see so much more of her. She's such an awesome, dynamic character. Plus I always appreciate some good conspiracies and illegal activity.

I do like the way they put bravery. Every day sort of bravery is far more impressive to me than those big acts. It's also a nice throwback to the every day sort of bravery she earlier attributed to Neville.

Susan should have been Minister and CC robbed her.

What nightmarish times and also the fact that she immediately knew to ask which of her family members had been hurt...I mean it makes sense, but it also hurts? Like that she knew the moment she saw him.

Poor Vincent. I wrote a deaf character once and I kept getting reviews saying that the healers would have solved it and I kept reminding them that surely everything couldn't be magically healed. If so I highly doubt so many wizards would have worn glasses.

I love the sibling banter so much. It really makes the story. It feels just like my brother and I.

Also I love that Eloise is a fixer. She took the initiative to find that spell for her brother and that's ten out of ten hufflepuff. She's so pure.

As always, I loved this chapter just as much the second time around!

Author's Response: Cormac has to stay a little unpleasant sometimes; I'm not on board with the way he's portrayed in the books, but I did have to stick to that somewhat. It's only unfortunate that Eloise is the one dealing with it!

I looove Susan! You're going to see a fair amount of her, she's such a fun character to write. Of course, there'll be plenty of conspiracies, illegal activities and snark to go around. (My precious bby.) She should definitely have been Minister, but there's always time!

I think that when you live in a tense political climate and your father shows up in the middle of the day at school (or, you know, calls, in our decidely Muggle world), your first reflex is to ask who died. But yes, it doesn't make the process any less painful.

Magic does not solve everything, oh my God. What I love about the 'verse JKR gave us to muck around in is precisely how flawed it is. Unfortunately, the ugly things found in our world are found in this one too. Racial prejudice, anyone?

Eee okay moving on to reply to your next review!

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Review #24, by PaulaTheProkaryote (3)

14th August 2017:
Hello again! :)

I relate so hard to Eloise's need for privacy. That was one thing I didn't love about Hogwarts when I read it and I was younger. I'd be so annoyed if I had to share a room at all (especially considering how many unused rooms there are AND MAGIC) but to share it with at least four other people? I'd die.

Eloise and I have a lot of the same coping mechanisms. When I'm stressed I like to work on my gardens or I start little seedlings or I look at my pinterest board filled with greenhouses (no, it's not a weird thing to devote an entire board to) so she's basically my favorite at all times.

I think you really nailed Professor Sprout's characterization. She's a bit brusque and rough around the edges, but amiable and overall kind. Her dialogue flows really naturally.

Also shoutout to Eloise for being the kind of person to recognize when to let a subject drop. Those are my favorite kinds of people.


"But, after all, he was Cormac McLaggen: what he wanted, he got, and he would get his mystery girl too." Really he sounds like some sinister mastermind orchestrating the apocalypse here which of course I appreciate. I'm telling you, he's the epitome of dramatic.

Ugh they are the cutest I'm so glad he's such a slacker in herbology. Also I'm very pleased she managed to embarrass him at least a little bit. It's how every good relationship should start.

Author's Response: I saw a post on tumblr once with headcanons for the different types of bathroom by house, and they'd made the Hufflepuff a bathroom where there were various tubs so Puffs could take their baths at the same time. No? If they can't have their peace in bed, at least give them five minutes on their own to shower?

Hufflepuffs and gardens was giving in to the cliché a little, but I'm glad it works! Also, it isn't that big a stereotype -- our other resident Herbology nerd is a Gryffindor, so. Pinterest greenhouse boards sound like a great idea and I might just copy you there!

Cormac McLaggen, sinister mastermind and dork extraordinaire. He should get business cards.

Thank you again for stopping by! :)

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Review #25, by PaulaTheProkaryote (2)

14th August 2017:
Hello again lovely!

Okay, honestly, Eloise's parents are much more like how I would anticipate parents being during the rise of You Know Who, but I was still beyond grumpy when Molly had threatened the exact same thing and she probably had even more reason to be weary.

Squibs and Hufflepuffs. The best purebloods out there. I always couldn't help but think that realistically they'd have to at least go easy on non-supportive purebloods for the simple fact that potential mates might become scarce if they killed off everyone who disagreed with them so I'm glad you took the time to address it here.

This is the kind of quality humor I'm here for: "mum threw a potted plant at the wall two days ago when one of them tried to Floo in"

I forgot how dramatic Cormac was and I'm low key in love with it. Yes, I'm sure the bowtruckles were completely vicious. Also he's a totally momma's boy which is always a sweet thing, right? Adorable.

I can't wait for them to tell their kids all about how they met. Honestly, you're keeping the story running that long...right? RIGHT?

Author's Response: Hi!

The depiction of Eloise's parents actually comes from canon! In chapter 11 of HBP, she's said to have been taken out of school, which was an angle I originally intended to stick to, except it made any and all Cormac/Eloise interactions impossible. Instead, that reference becomes Anthony taking Eloise out of school the day Vincent is hospitalised (Hermione isn't privy the details and just assumes she's been taken out for good). I kept the (excessive) overprotectiveness in regardless, particularly in Helen's case.

Yep, not wanting to scare of potential mates is basically my headcanon as to why non-supportive purebloods were mostly left alone. Voldemort is very adamant about not spilling pure blood, so it makes sense -- and I'm firmly convinced that all purebloods weren't Death Eaters or Weasleys. I wish JKR had shown us the middle ground more...

Cormac is a drama queen to rule over all drama queens. He's also 100% a mama's boy. Wait until you meet his mother.

AHHH. Don't tempt me. I love, love, love writing my characters with children and pregnancy tropes are my favourite, but I have to get these two dorks there first!

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